Returning

Going home is weird.


On the flight from Narita to Seattle, despite there being many English speaking flight attendants on board, I chose to talk to the Japanese one. (Mostly because I couldn't remember how to ask for anything properly in English.) I thought, "I'm going back, so might as well speak Japanese until the last possible moment."

First thing that hit me when arriving into Washington was how blunt, and almost rude, people seem at the airport.  I went from hearing everything in polite, formal Japanese in Japan, to "Take off your shoes, you can't have that, take your stuff and go, and we have a random!" I freaked out, could only think of Japanese responses, and had a panic attack. I had gotten so used to Japanese people and how they act, that the way I had remembered things was so different; I was shocked.

I felt much better once I had made it back to Oregon, where I know my way around and the people seem to be more pleasant. It helped having my mom there as well.

Coming back to my house was such a strange feeling. It feels almost like I haven't been gone, but I know I have missed so much. I haven't even bothered with my phone yet; I can't remember how to work it, and it stresses me out with so much other stuff going on right now. (Haha)

I went to bed at 9:30, thinking I had the upper-hand on jet leg. I woke up at 3am, wide awake.
You win this round, jet lag.

This is going to take some getting used to.

Last Day at Hokusei

The whole day felt so surreal; like one of those days that you never thought would actually come.

Since it was Friday, we had the morning church service in the chapel. I was nervous all morning about speaking in front of the whole school and having to say goodbye. However, when it came time to give my speech, for the first time in my life, I did not feel nervous at all. As I was reading it out loud though, it finally hit me what I had wrote and what I was saying; I started to get a little choked up. I took a second to contain myself, looked up and saw that people in the crowd were crying as well.

After I finished, and began to walk off of the stage, I looked out in to the crowd again to see that my whole class had stood up. They shouted to me if I liked being in 6A, and when I said yes they shouted, "We love you Claudia." I was so moved and emotional that I couldn't help it and started crying in front of everyone. When I talked to the principal afterwards he told me he had never seen such a thing happen before.

The rest of classes went by in a blur.

During homeroom, after school had ended, they asked me to say something. I had no idea what to say at first, but as I started talking, it all came pouring out. I told them how at first I thought there was no way I could become friends with them since they had already been together so long (Since middle school), and because my Japanese was so terrible. Since everyone was so nice, they really tried to talk to me and my Japanese improved. Now I can talk normally, and even joke around. I told them that along with my host families, 6A is my Japanese family.
When I had finished, my classmates brought me gifts the class had made me: A box full of individual letters from everyone, and a book filled with pictures from this year.

After school, there was pictures, and eating, and of course purikura.

I'm so lucky to have been a part of 6A, I couldn't have done it without them. They are such an amazing group of people. I can never thank them enough.


I can't believe how quickly this year went by.

日本語で：6年A組

（ 日本語を間違ったら、ごめんね！直して下さいね）

私のクラスは6年A組です。
６Aは面白くて、優しくて、大好きです。(^-^)/
８月、日本へ来た時に、日本語をあまり話せませんでしたのでとても緊張しました。しかし、クラスメート達はすごく優しかったです。分からない事を教えて、ゆっくり話して、よく手伝いました。それから色々な物を習いました。

最近、皆の日本語をたいてい分かりますので毎日楽しんでますょ。それに、日本の文化と日本語を慣れたので、たくさん英語を忘れちゃいました。困ってますね。（笑）
6Aの冗談とか一番上手と思います。毎日笑って、うれしいです。


これからも、いっぱい遊びたいし、話したいし、プリクラを取りたいし、後３ヶ月しかないですから。
留学の最後までも、たくさんいい思い出を作りたいです。＼(^o^)／

6Aは私の日本の家族です。
帰っちゃったら、皆いなくて寂しくなるわ。
最後の３ヶ月に一緒に笑いましょうね。
6Aは完璧ですよ～♪

七転び八起き

I went skiing for the first time today with my school. (Northern Japan is lucky enough to have skiing as a required P.E. activity) It turns out that skiing is much different from snowboarding, at least that's what the bruises are telling me.

A few weeks ago, our P.E. teachers split us into groups based on level of ability.
This next part is important:
There are 5 groups, A through E. A being the "I skied out of the womb" group, and E the "We really don't belong here" group. (Keep in mind that most people don't even know group E is in existence) My teacher put me in D group, thinking I would be okay since I know how to board.

I knew I had a problem when I slipped and fell down the first tiny hill leading from the parking lot into the ski area.

I thought I would be okay though because D group was supposed to be for beginners. However, only 5 minutes into the lesson the instructor was already ushering us onto the ski lift. (Which I found to be the only thing easier on skis than a board; you don't even have to pray before dismounting.)
The instructor had me go first down the slope behind her, which I thought was a terrible idea. I fell half-way down and since I didn't yet know how to stop or get back up I slid down the rest of the hill in this really odd, awkward squatting position. The rest of the way down she made me go first so she could keep an eye on me. At some points she would even grab my skis and pull me along which resulted in her falling on top of me several times.  I'm pretty sure she was frustrated to have someone like me in her group. I could tell that the rest of my group could have gone at a faster pace too. When I fell, even though I would laugh at myself, they would all look really concerned and say things like poor thing, is she okay?, etc.

As you can probably tell, I'm making lots of friends at this point.

Needless to say, after about an hour and a half I was quickly demoted to E group.
E group only had 4 members, but 2 instructors. One of the girls said something about being half blind. I'm really hoping that was a joke.
They had just started the ski lift, so I felt like a pro. One of the instructors was actually my P.E. teacher, who turned out to be infinitely helpful and a lot more patient. I fell a lot less and even managed to get down the steep ending slope by myself. (Mostly)
It took me about 15 minutes while other groups zipped past in seconds, but I did it and all my bones are intact.

I'm calling it a success.
I love E group.

"It just wouldn't be a picnic without the ants"

Exchange is very much a roller-coaster; it has its ups and downs. Some people might have more ups than downs, or vice versa, but all of us experience it in some form. I want to post about it, not to worry anybody or give the impression I am not enjoying my time here, but to be realistic, and to be able to get the words out of my head and put them somewhere else so they are not so heavy in my mind.

As of late, there are a lot of things I miss from home. Some are stupid things that I used to hate or had not even given a thought to before. Like rain, loads of rain, and going to a football game after school with my friends (even though I'm not really a football fan). 

I think what I am having the hardest time adjusting to at the moment is how difficult it is to hang out with friends here. It seems overbearingly formal to me. Although, I am so used to home where we would just knock on each other's door and ask our friends to come out and play. Or calling friends to hang out whenever. Going to friend's houses, the park, or even just walking around. It doesn't have to be anything special, or planned out at all. 

Here plans are made days, or even weeks in advance. It's very planned out and organized; the location, time, activity, people, etc. Additional to that, since we live in a city and hanging out at one-another's house is not so common, most things that my school friends do for fun cost money. Being an exchange student who only has so much money per month, much of which I have to save for necessities, this kind of sucks big time. A few times I've had to decline friend's invitations because of this. 

Since it is so different for me, I get kind of stressed or frustrated with myself when it comes to trying to make plans or ask about hanging out. I want so badly to hang out and become better friends with my school friends,  so I know I need to just get over it. 

Another thing that has been eating at me a little is that I miss my family quite a bit. More-so when I am sick or having a rough day. It's not the I-need-to-go-home kind of homesick, It's just different having them with me everyday for 16 years and now I can only see them every once and a while via skype. 

I think I took a lot of things for granted before I left. Things like being able to sit with my mom and talk whenever I wanted, being silly with my "Brostar!", and just joking and laughing together.

I always thought I would get through my exchange saying I didn't get homesick, but the truth is I do sometimes. 

But that's okay. 

I understand now it doesn't make me weak, or unhappy with where I am.

I am homesick because I love my home and the people that make it my home.
I think finally being able to admit that to myself makes it easier to deal with. 

Thanksgiving

I really missed having Thanksgiving this year. Especially since I have an abundance of things to be thankful for right now. So here is my day-late Thanksgiving post:


I am thankful for my mama, who raised me to be a strong person and who always puts up with me, (even when I am a pain.) Also, for allowing me to have this opportunity and helping and supporting me through-out it. I don't know what I would do without you; best mommy ever! <3

For my Nana & Papa who are always supportive and encouraging. Also, for letting my brothers and I eat way more ice cream than mom would ever let us when we would stay the night.

For my dad, who was the reason I started with Japanese and is my inspiration as a person.

For all three of my brothers:

• My brostar! for dancing to the backstreet boys with me when we were little; for still dancing to the backstreet boys with me. (Don't worry, I won't tell your friends) You're a cool kid and I'm glad to have a brother like you. (Although, I'd like you a lot more if you would skype me, you butt)
• Jackieboo; for always being funny and still wanting to hang out with your older siblings. I know we think we are cool, but I'm glad you think so too.
• Logan, even though it is hard for us to talk, I would always be there to help you if you needed it. 

I am thankful for my best friend, who still talks to and treats me the same as if I were still in the states. For actually listening to my long stories about experiences here and for always being there for me since 3rd grade. What would I do without you, Ky?

For the friends that still make an effort to stay in contact with me and respond to my efforts as well, even though I am so far away.

For my host families, who accept me, essentially a stranger, into their homes and treat me as their own. 

For my fellow exchange students. Who have become some-what of a family for me. Without them I would be lost at times. (Both figuratively and literally)

For onsen, matcha, purikura, milk tea, rice, and chocolate.

I am thankful to my sponsor district back in the states. For volunteering so much of their time and effort to prepare all of us out-bounds and for accepting me as a candidate in the first place.

To my host district here in Japan; I was originally supposed to go to a different district but it didn't accept students this year, the district here took me as an extra so I could still go to Japan. I am so grateful. Also, for taking care of us so well.

To my classmates, who have an immense amount of patience while talking to me, despite my many mistakes and slow response time.

I am thankful that I have a healthy body and a strong mind.

I am thankful to Japan, being here has taught me so much, not just about language or culture, but about myself and others as well.

本当にありがとう！

Sorry, No English

Since I have been here, the minute I wake up, to the minute I go back to bed I am so sleepy. Not physically tired, or sick tired, but mentally exhausted. Everyday my mind is constantly translating and switching back and forth between English and Japanese. Sometimes all I want to do is sit somewhere quiet and not have to think at all. However, I know it is a good thing and that as I become less tired everyday, I am also improving.

I have already lost my ability to speak smoothly in complete sentences in English, my spelling has become terrible, and I am beginning to forget vocab as well.

For the first month, when I was at the peak of my fatigue, (especially in the mornings) I would say or do so stupid things without realizing it. For instance, on morning as I walked into the restroom, my host family's high-tech toilet opened the lid on its own, to which I then said "Oh! Thank you toilet." Another time, whilst showering, I started singing "Everyday I'm showerin'" like Party Rock Anthem.

Another thing pertaining to my terrible English: When I do speak English, it's with the other exchange students. At first, no ones' accent was the same, but recently I have noticed that I've adopted different parts of everyone elses' English accents and now I have this strange, mixed, originless accent.

Looking forward to taking SATs when I get back.

Upon Moving

I changed host families for the first time last week. It was not at all like what I thought it would be. It came so fast that I had forgotten to pack until the day before.(Oops)
When I first came here, all I brought was two suitcases, a carry-bag, and my computer. Packing my stuff this time, I realized how much more stuff I have gotten in just two months of living here. I had so many extra bags, I had to have help to carry them.

Moving host families is something every rotary exchange student has to do, so I was prepared for it, but I didn't realize how attached to my first host family I had become. I found it really hard to leave them; they taught me so much when I first got here, and were always so patient with me. When it came time for me to leave, My host mom told me "Come visit anytime, and when you do, still say ”ただいま”(I'm home/I'm back)". In the card they wrote me, that I read after getting to my new home, she had written "To us, Ku-chan is our daughter now too." When I asked if I could still call them ママ and　パパ, she told me "of course"
I felt so sad and so happy at the same time in that moment. I am so grateful to the Tanaka family. I only lived with them for two months, but I feel as if they have become a real family for me, just like my family back in the states.
田中ファミリー、心から、ありがとうございました。

Awkward Moments

I've only been here for about 20 days but still I've had so many awkward moments and conversations.
These are only a few:

1. On my first day of school I accidentally told my whole class I was 6 years old. Whoops.

2. Last week, my class was supposed to go to PE. We sat in the gym for about 15 minutes until we realized the teacher was not going to show up. Everyone was just lying on the gym floor talking. The group of girls closest to me scooched on over to talk to me. One of the girls turns to me, and in English, asks "Do you like a boy now?" It took me a second to process what she was asking and after I had answered I asked her if she did, not knowing what else to do in this situation. She said yes and then proceeded to roll over the top of me in excitement.

3. My world history teacher always brings picture boards of people my classmates are studying about. Recently, he has been bringing American presidents and asking me if I know them, but then he never uses them during class.

4. The other day our rotary district held a welcoming party for all the new exchange students. Afterwards all of us current exchange students went out with the previous exchange students (who are Japanese) We went to take photo booth pictures and only two people stayed behind to edit them. When they handed them out after the finished I realized that instead of writing "Hello Bitches" like they had wanted to, they accidentally wrote, "Hello Biches".

Slacker Status

I haven't been very good about posting, mostly because my tumblr blog stopped working for some reason.
From now on I will post here.

Off topic, have you seen this video?: